Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Piranha 2: The Spawning

Ah Creature Features, I live for those movies. There are so many awesome films involving animals which just won't leave they have a thirst for blood. They have one purpose...to kill. It's awesome to see how far we have come from films like 'King Kong' and 'The Wolfman'. This sub genre of horror has pushed the boundaries far past any kind of sensible limit with films like 'Dinoshark' and 'Camel Spiders'. It seems that these films are becoming more stranger, and more fans of this genre are coming out of the woodwork. A lot of fans are now stepping out from behind their computer screen and expressing their love for these films while others continue to mock them but watch the films anyway because it's 'ironic'...fucking hipsters. Anyways Creature Features are a genre I have had a soft spot for ever since I first saw 'Jaws', I was always intrigued by these animals which just want to finally let the humans get what they deserve, and these animals act with a nasty wrath which is just so enjoyable to watch on the big screen. A favourite of mine in this genre will always be 'Piranha 2: The Spawning'(or also known as 'Flying Killers'). While I did love Joe Dante's original cinematic masterpiece, I can't help but enjoy this a little more because of two reasons. Reason 1 - It stars Lance FUCKING Henriksen and secondly the piranhas freakin' fly. I know this is a little far fetched right? But come on, what if they really could fly? Just picture it, humans would be extinct, so would every other animal, so then all the flying piranhas will be fighting to the death...there needs to be a movie about that...don't steal my idea. But do I feel this film is good enough for you to watch? Well I shall try my best to convince you that it is!

This story is very simple but at times it does get a little lost in all the stupid sub plots in the film. But I can say the absurd deaths and cheesy lines totally make up for that. So essentially the plot is a scuba instructor, her boyfriend and her ex husband(who by the way is a total copy of Chief Brody from 'Jaws') who all decide to investigate mutant flying piranhas who's lair just happen to be conveniently be in a sunken ship...yep and it just so happens to be near a holiday beach resort...I am not making this up. What I found so hilarious was the awkward three-way investigation, I mean how odd would you feel about investigating something you have no idea about with your ex wife and her new boyfriend? I think this film was getting pulled in two directions but I guess that is what happens when the original director leaves the project and the special effects director takes over...and who was this special effects director? James 'AVATAR' Cameron. Did he do a good job? Well all I can say is that this is my favourite of all the piranha films and by far more enjoyable than 'Avatar'. But hey I have very low standards of what I think is awesome. Now the star performance definitely goes to Lance Henriksen who plays the police chief who is investigating with his ex wife and her current boyfriend. I think he brings some actual realism to the film, which I know is hard to believe since this film is just pure nonsense, but he works with what he's got, I just feel sorry for him because they tried to make him an exact copy of Chief Brody, and hey he did a good job of that! As for the other actors...you don't need to know who they are because let's face it they were bad and you don't need great actors when you have flying piranhas in the story.

I think you need to watch this film purely for the opening. I mean you have two divers, getting frisky in this sunken boat, and shit is getting very sexy(well as sexy as it can get underwater and a limited air supply) and then lurking out of the shadows our piranhas start to ambush our sexy divers, and BAM you have one of the greatest openings in Creature Feature history. The film definitely does have it's moments that may make you jump, and the deaths are just wonderfully bad that they make up for the bad acting, terribly written screenplay and overall point of making this film. You can see one director wanted to make this a fun horror film, which just purely entertained, and then you can see another director wanted to make it dark, serious and something you should take seriously. But I cannot help but laugh at piranhas which fly, I mean I would love to have been in the boardroom when this idea was cooked up. Just seeing guys in suits trying to think of the next summer blockbuster which could beat the 'Jaws' box office record, and they come up with this. Great try guys!

Do you want to watch this? Would these feed your appetite like half naked divers feed piranhas? If so, definitely give this a viewing. Best way to watch it? Get a few of your friends together for a movie night, gets either a lot of liquor, or Cherry Coke, get super drunk or hyperactive and then turn it on. You will laugh, cringe, be slightly confused, laugh some more and shake your head in amazement that you actually sat down and watched all 94 minutes. If you are a genuine lover of just pure crap films like me, then you won't be disappointed. Don't go in thinking you are going to get a visual treat with a beautiful score, and some very 'artsy' deaths, because you won't. If anything this Creature Feature has a hint of the Exploitation genre chucked in for good measure, and it totally works. This definitely is an acquired taste if you watch this sober and have low standards like me. So if I was hyperactive on Cherry Coke i'd give this a 4 out of 5, if I was having a normal kinda day I would give this...oh who am I kidding it would still be 4.

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1 comment:

  1. I remember being scared by the trailer and box of this as a kid. I kept meaning to check it out now, but I can't seem to find a copy. I'm surprised this has not gotten a remake. The fact that you called this more enjoyable then Avatar has me sold. Great review

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